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| Spielberg and Chinese |
One Chinese person walks into a bar in America late one night and he saw Steven Spielberg. As he was a great fan of his movies, he rushes over to him, and asks for his autograph.
Instead, Spielberg gives him a slap and says You Chinese people bombed our Pearl Harbor, get out of here.
The astonished Chinese man replied It was not the Chinese who bombed your Pearl Harbor, it was the Japanese. Chinese, Japanese, Taiwanese, you’re all the same, replied Spielberg.
In return, the Chinese gives Spielberg a slap and says You sank the Titanic, my forefathers were on that ship.
Shocked, Spielberg replies It was the iceberg that sank the ship, not me.
The Chinese replies, Iceberg, Spielberg, Carlsberg, you’re all the same. |
| Banta meets the woman of his dreams |
Banta called his friend Santa and told him that he recently met the woman of his dreams. Now what should he do?
Santa said, Send her some flowers and a card and invite her for a home-cooked meal.
Banta liked the idea, so he invited the woman of his dreams.
The day after the meal Santa calls Banta and asks about the meal.
Banta: It was a flop idea.
Santa: Didn’t the girl come to your house?
Banta: She did, but she refused to cook!! |
| Banta wants to die |
Banta went to the emergency room with the tip of his index finger blown off.
How did this happen? the doctor asked.
Well I was trying to commit suicide, Banta replied.
The doctor asked, Trying to commit suicide by shooting your finger?
No, silly! First I put the gun on my head and I thought my face would look horrible, then I put it in my mouth and I thought I just paid Rs. 1,000 to get my teeth straightened. So then I put the gun in my ear and I thought this is going to make a loud noise, so I put my finger in my other ear before I pulled the trigger. |
| Sense of humor |
A wife asked her husband: ‘What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my attractive, seductive body?’
He looked at her from head to toe and replied: ‘I like your sense of humor.’ |
| Photo in wallet |
Wife: ‘You always carry my photo in your wallet. Why?’
Hubby: ‘When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears.’
Wife: ‘You see how miraculous and powerful I am for you?’
Hubby: ‘Yes! I see your picture and ask myself what other problem can there be greater than this one?’ |
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